The Time is Now ...

Every human in existance at one point or another is going to have a breakdown and I guess mine is now.

Between working 2 jobs, being a newlywed, taking care of 2 of the cutest dogs you could ever imagine, and trying to move into our new place, I am breaking down.

Everything that could bothered me has and in a way - I am sort of thankful for that because it gives me the chance to improve the things that cause me stress.

I am so over immature adults, drama and just taking people's shit. I don't think that as a fellow adult I should have to take the bull shit if I don't want to and I am SO over it.

I want to make a friend that is polite, sincere, HONEST and REAL, that would make me a priority as a friend. But it seems that every single person I run into has some kind of bitch split personality that rears its ugly little head and they take a turn for the worst. I am not saying that I can't have friends unless they are perfect because I know that that is how I am making this seem but I want to be around people that don't just preach about self respect but they embrace it. I want a friend that doesn't just talk about no drama but they execute their lives to be as drama free as it could possibly be. And I want a friend who would tell me if I looked fat in an outfit because I hate the ones that are thinking it but never say it.

I am so tired of giving all of myself to everything and feeling like I get nothing in the end. I strongly believe that there needs to be a good balance of give and take in a friendship and I just have not really ever seen that.

Second Job

I officially have a second job that I am starting today - this evening after I get off of work at the apt. assoc.

My goal is to start saving 100% of all of the checks from the second job so that after like a year of saving - Brandon and I will have the opportunity to look at houses for purchase!!!

I am excited. It is going to suck for sure because I will be working about 13 hours just to turn around and go home and go to bed just to get up and do it again but the thing that makes me optomistic about this whole thing is that I know that the extra hours will be well worth the benefits of having money to save AND I think I love where I'm going to be working. The people are so sweet in there from what I've seen sooo...I'll keep you posted.

Breathe You In

I am undone
A little rough around the edges
Hearing stories of the hours past
And the hour glass we race
The one I tried to chase

We talk too much
A million words meaning nothing at all
Telling stories of nothing real
And it’s never how we feel
They say time is how we heal

(Chorus)
If I can’t see you
I can’t breathe you in, no
And if I do
I’d never leave again
Oh, again

I love the concrete
It’s my city grass beneath my feet
And walks with strangers
Hundreds of years my senior

It’s not that I can’t relate
It’s just the little things that make me hate
The age I am and the way we are
And it all comes back too…

(Chorus)
If I can’t see you
I can’t breathe you in, no
And if I do
I’d never leave again

If I can’t see you
No, I can’t breathe you in
And if I do
I’ll never leave again
Oh, again

If I breathe you in

-Mia Carruthers