While in my sudden action of obsession to any and all Blues genre music, I came across a song that I hear quite frequently...well more frequently than a song you typically don't listen to is usually heard. I know the song, I know the version. I guess I just never actually stopped to listen to what exactly it was saying to me. And while I finally decided to purchase it on iTunes and put it on my ipod so that I could listen at the full capacity that music should be listened to (blaring directly and straight forwardly into my ear canals) it gave me the most inspirational chills. I, all of a sudden, had a clear head about a situation that lingers in my thoughts to this day.
"You'll be sorry some day..." it kept echoing in my head even as the song kept on. The thrill has gone away from me. I was under a spell cast by someone whose only intentions from the beginning were to hurt me and to deceive things from the beginning. And I feel extremely confident that you will be sorry some day for letting someone who genuinely cared about you go. For unspoken reasons.
I have let this one instance depict the person that I have been and how I view myself. I constantly asked myself, why am I not good enough? I definitely take the blame in letting your sorry ass take over my soul. For what has now been extremely too long. I am a good person. I don't lie. I don't cheat. I don't steal. I constantly think of others. And I guess I could blame my heartache on my deep passion for friendship. Good friendship. It blinded me to see what I should have seen from the get-go. If you don't like me...fine. No one says you have to. If you don't think I'm good enough...fine. No one says that I should be. The only thing that I can tell you is that I'm a good person. And for too long, I allowed for you to make me think otherwise. Maybe holding on to this instance for so long and letting it sit there and letting myself wonder is my fault. But one thing I would never do which makes me better than all the rest??? I would never, ever preach to people about self-respect and honestly and about valuable friendships just to contradict everything you just said. It makes you look foolish. Self-respect is having the decency to come to a person and be honest with them...instead you made yourself look foolish. You passed it all off on me...made me look and feel like I did something wrong. But lets just take a look at the big picture. I have a husband for which I am happily married to. And I have friends for days and people that would honestly be there for me if I needed them to be. What do you have to go home to?? No one. And it will be that way as long as you keep treating people the way you treated me and as long as you push people out the way that you treated me. Soo...the thrill of the entire situation.........it's finally gone. I'm not under any spells from you that hurt me anymore. I see you for what you really are. And I am confident that you see yourself for what you really are too. I hope that one day, you find the true you and that you get all that you want in life. But what I really hope for you is that you eventually understand all angles of how you hurt me and you realize that you were wrong.
The thrill is gone.....so very gone.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Congratulations
Feelings of wonder
sit deep in my soul
when I think about
what it is that you stole.
You kick people
when they're already down
and then you keep walking
without turning around.
You have on these blinders
that keep you so safe from what's real
you try to laugh at people's aches
when you know deep down how they feel.
You are completely heartless
and your blood is of ice
I wish you acknowledged your faults
that would be so nice.
You tear apart trust
and you destroy all care
and you push away the ones
that were the only ones who cared.
You claim to be this amazing friend
the one to always love...
and then you fuck over everyone
kicking them out with the harshest shove.
You will never know what you were to me
and maybe you just don't care
but when you start to wonder where all your friends are
you'll see me as the one who was always there.
Fool me once
and shame on you
fool me twice
it's just what you do.
The only thing
that is left to be done
is to forget about you
and start having some fun.
I will always know you
as the worst best-friend
who is the biggest liar
who caused hurt that won't end.
I hope you're proud of the
person you've become
you are a wretched bitch
and I should be thankful that it's done.
So thank you
for showing me who NOT to be
you've got being awful
down to a T.
Congratulations. Maybe you actually did get what you wanted which was to hurt me but the thing I need for you to understand is that I am one of the last persons on the planet to trust yet I made an exception for you. TWICE. I opened my heart to you, I was there for you where ever and whenever and you took full on advantage of that. You want to know why people are as wretched as they are? It is because of people like you...you will make someone feel like they have the best friend they could have ever wanted and then overnight everything changes and you throw them out like yesterday's garbage. You are NOT a good friend. You DO treat people as if their friendships are disposable. So everything you have ever preached to people is a blatant lie. So to add to all of your bad qualities and true colors you've shown to me...I can now add 'liar' to the list of adjectives I would use to describe you.
sit deep in my soul
when I think about
what it is that you stole.
You kick people
when they're already down
and then you keep walking
without turning around.
You have on these blinders
that keep you so safe from what's real
you try to laugh at people's aches
when you know deep down how they feel.
You are completely heartless
and your blood is of ice
I wish you acknowledged your faults
that would be so nice.
You tear apart trust
and you destroy all care
and you push away the ones
that were the only ones who cared.
You claim to be this amazing friend
the one to always love...
and then you fuck over everyone
kicking them out with the harshest shove.
You will never know what you were to me
and maybe you just don't care
but when you start to wonder where all your friends are
you'll see me as the one who was always there.
Fool me once
and shame on you
fool me twice
it's just what you do.
The only thing
that is left to be done
is to forget about you
and start having some fun.
I will always know you
as the worst best-friend
who is the biggest liar
who caused hurt that won't end.
I hope you're proud of the
person you've become
you are a wretched bitch
and I should be thankful that it's done.
So thank you
for showing me who NOT to be
you've got being awful
down to a T.
Congratulations. Maybe you actually did get what you wanted which was to hurt me but the thing I need for you to understand is that I am one of the last persons on the planet to trust yet I made an exception for you. TWICE. I opened my heart to you, I was there for you where ever and whenever and you took full on advantage of that. You want to know why people are as wretched as they are? It is because of people like you...you will make someone feel like they have the best friend they could have ever wanted and then overnight everything changes and you throw them out like yesterday's garbage. You are NOT a good friend. You DO treat people as if their friendships are disposable. So everything you have ever preached to people is a blatant lie. So to add to all of your bad qualities and true colors you've shown to me...I can now add 'liar' to the list of adjectives I would use to describe you.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
W.H.Y.
W - when
H - healing
Y - yields
I hate that empty ache in the pit of my entire being that is always asking why. I want to teach myself to know that what is just...is. And the rest is history. I can't tell ya how many tears and fears and worries and empty aches in the pit of my stomach were all derived from the very word.
This feeling is what lead me to determine that WHY actually stands for When Healing Yields. This makes sense in my head but looks crazy in writing. There are so many things that have gone on in my life that may or may not seem like a major thing that has taken control over me in a sense because all I want to know is why this situation happened, why this person wanted to be this way to me...
And because I sit there and wonder why....the healing that should happen in due time after the hurtful situation doesn't start because I am stuck with the very word in my head.....
I will get over this...I will stop hurting from the person you were to me...and eventually....................I will stop asking why.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Time is Now ...
Every human in existance at one point or another is going to have a breakdown and I guess mine is now.
Between working 2 jobs, being a newlywed, taking care of 2 of the cutest dogs you could ever imagine, and trying to move into our new place, I am breaking down.
Everything that could bothered me has and in a way - I am sort of thankful for that because it gives me the chance to improve the things that cause me stress.
I am so over immature adults, drama and just taking people's shit. I don't think that as a fellow adult I should have to take the bull shit if I don't want to and I am SO over it.
I want to make a friend that is polite, sincere, HONEST and REAL, that would make me a priority as a friend. But it seems that every single person I run into has some kind of bitch split personality that rears its ugly little head and they take a turn for the worst. I am not saying that I can't have friends unless they are perfect because I know that that is how I am making this seem but I want to be around people that don't just preach about self respect but they embrace it. I want a friend that doesn't just talk about no drama but they execute their lives to be as drama free as it could possibly be. And I want a friend who would tell me if I looked fat in an outfit because I hate the ones that are thinking it but never say it.
I am so tired of giving all of myself to everything and feeling like I get nothing in the end. I strongly believe that there needs to be a good balance of give and take in a friendship and I just have not really ever seen that.
Between working 2 jobs, being a newlywed, taking care of 2 of the cutest dogs you could ever imagine, and trying to move into our new place, I am breaking down.
Everything that could bothered me has and in a way - I am sort of thankful for that because it gives me the chance to improve the things that cause me stress.
I am so over immature adults, drama and just taking people's shit. I don't think that as a fellow adult I should have to take the bull shit if I don't want to and I am SO over it.
I want to make a friend that is polite, sincere, HONEST and REAL, that would make me a priority as a friend. But it seems that every single person I run into has some kind of bitch split personality that rears its ugly little head and they take a turn for the worst. I am not saying that I can't have friends unless they are perfect because I know that that is how I am making this seem but I want to be around people that don't just preach about self respect but they embrace it. I want a friend that doesn't just talk about no drama but they execute their lives to be as drama free as it could possibly be. And I want a friend who would tell me if I looked fat in an outfit because I hate the ones that are thinking it but never say it.
I am so tired of giving all of myself to everything and feeling like I get nothing in the end. I strongly believe that there needs to be a good balance of give and take in a friendship and I just have not really ever seen that.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Second Job
I officially have a second job that I am starting today - this evening after I get off of work at the apt. assoc.
My goal is to start saving 100% of all of the checks from the second job so that after like a year of saving - Brandon and I will have the opportunity to look at houses for purchase!!!
I am excited. It is going to suck for sure because I will be working about 13 hours just to turn around and go home and go to bed just to get up and do it again but the thing that makes me optomistic about this whole thing is that I know that the extra hours will be well worth the benefits of having money to save AND I think I love where I'm going to be working. The people are so sweet in there from what I've seen sooo...I'll keep you posted.
My goal is to start saving 100% of all of the checks from the second job so that after like a year of saving - Brandon and I will have the opportunity to look at houses for purchase!!!
I am excited. It is going to suck for sure because I will be working about 13 hours just to turn around and go home and go to bed just to get up and do it again but the thing that makes me optomistic about this whole thing is that I know that the extra hours will be well worth the benefits of having money to save AND I think I love where I'm going to be working. The people are so sweet in there from what I've seen sooo...I'll keep you posted.
Breathe You In
I am undone
A little rough around the edges
Hearing stories of the hours past
And the hour glass we race
The one I tried to chase
We talk too much
A million words meaning nothing at all
Telling stories of nothing real
And it’s never how we feel
They say time is how we heal
(Chorus)
If I can’t see you
I can’t breathe you in, no
And if I do
I’d never leave again
Oh, again
I love the concrete
It’s my city grass beneath my feet
And walks with strangers
Hundreds of years my senior
It’s not that I can’t relate
It’s just the little things that make me hate
The age I am and the way we are
And it all comes back too…
(Chorus)
If I can’t see you
I can’t breathe you in, no
And if I do
I’d never leave again
If I can’t see you
No, I can’t breathe you in
And if I do
I’ll never leave again
Oh, again
If I breathe you in
-Mia Carruthers
A little rough around the edges
Hearing stories of the hours past
And the hour glass we race
The one I tried to chase
We talk too much
A million words meaning nothing at all
Telling stories of nothing real
And it’s never how we feel
They say time is how we heal
(Chorus)
If I can’t see you
I can’t breathe you in, no
And if I do
I’d never leave again
Oh, again
I love the concrete
It’s my city grass beneath my feet
And walks with strangers
Hundreds of years my senior
It’s not that I can’t relate
It’s just the little things that make me hate
The age I am and the way we are
And it all comes back too…
(Chorus)
If I can’t see you
I can’t breathe you in, no
And if I do
I’d never leave again
If I can’t see you
No, I can’t breathe you in
And if I do
I’ll never leave again
Oh, again
If I breathe you in
-Mia Carruthers
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
He's the Birthday Boy!!!
Well - Brandon's birthday was this past Sunday and I have to say - the entire weekend was a complete success!!
Brandon's mom flew in from Florida - we went to the memorial softball tournament for Brandon's cousin, Shay. And then Saturday night we went out for Brandon's birthday (From what I remember - we had an amazing time!) And then Sunday we had lunch with his side of the family and then for dinner we met up with my side of the family and he got lots of gifts and an amazing ice cream cake.
My little boo boo is FINALLY 21!!!!!
Overall - it was a blast. But I am going to blame too much partying this past weekend on the fact that I am SICK!!! I woke up yesterday morning and felt like complete crap! I am pretty sure it is just allergies and sinuses which is why I am HOPING I get better by tomorrow because my mom and I are heading out to Houston for the rest of the week for a convention and Emmit Smith is going to be there!! I have been blabbing non stop about Emmit Smith - but hey! I'm just so excited!!
Anyways - more to come soon - just thought I'd give you an update of how BRandon's birthday went - and again - it was spectacular!! :)
Brandon's mom flew in from Florida - we went to the memorial softball tournament for Brandon's cousin, Shay. And then Saturday night we went out for Brandon's birthday (From what I remember - we had an amazing time!) And then Sunday we had lunch with his side of the family and then for dinner we met up with my side of the family and he got lots of gifts and an amazing ice cream cake.
My little boo boo is FINALLY 21!!!!!
Overall - it was a blast. But I am going to blame too much partying this past weekend on the fact that I am SICK!!! I woke up yesterday morning and felt like complete crap! I am pretty sure it is just allergies and sinuses which is why I am HOPING I get better by tomorrow because my mom and I are heading out to Houston for the rest of the week for a convention and Emmit Smith is going to be there!! I have been blabbing non stop about Emmit Smith - but hey! I'm just so excited!!
Anyways - more to come soon - just thought I'd give you an update of how BRandon's birthday went - and again - it was spectacular!! :)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Let Me Tell You...
...what I don't like or appreciate.
Those people who try to say that they are a certain type of person who has amazing qualities for friendship and relationships and they just don't. People who say that they cherish friendship and they never treat a friendship as if it is disposable - they get on my nerves. Because at some point or another - you will treat one as if it is disposable and then what?? You look like a big, fat liar. I am OVER people treating me like I just don't matter. It pisses me off. I would walks to both ends of the Earth at ONE FREAKING TIME for the people who mean the most to me and for some people - I am SICK of not getting the same in return. I'm tired of people being rude and inconsiderate. It just makes me wonder why I should ever be the bigger person in the situation if; in the end, it just doesn't matter to that person. Sure - I know that I was the bigger person and that is what is supposed to matter to me but why does it feel SO SO SO good to be a wretched bitch to the person who has wronged me. I can't hide; much less handle, the fact that it really hurts me but it makes me feel like my time and effort for everything that I did for them is completely WASTED. I need to let it go without the closure that I am waiting for but know I won't get.
If the person who this is about is reading this - I hope you know that you piss me off. Maybe that is what you want - but at least that means that I truly did care for you which should actually make you feel a lot worse because I'm sure you are walking around not even thinking twice about what you did.
If you believe in karma so much - it will be interesting to see what comes back around to you.
Those people who try to say that they are a certain type of person who has amazing qualities for friendship and relationships and they just don't. People who say that they cherish friendship and they never treat a friendship as if it is disposable - they get on my nerves. Because at some point or another - you will treat one as if it is disposable and then what?? You look like a big, fat liar. I am OVER people treating me like I just don't matter. It pisses me off. I would walks to both ends of the Earth at ONE FREAKING TIME for the people who mean the most to me and for some people - I am SICK of not getting the same in return. I'm tired of people being rude and inconsiderate. It just makes me wonder why I should ever be the bigger person in the situation if; in the end, it just doesn't matter to that person. Sure - I know that I was the bigger person and that is what is supposed to matter to me but why does it feel SO SO SO good to be a wretched bitch to the person who has wronged me. I can't hide; much less handle, the fact that it really hurts me but it makes me feel like my time and effort for everything that I did for them is completely WASTED. I need to let it go without the closure that I am waiting for but know I won't get.
If the person who this is about is reading this - I hope you know that you piss me off. Maybe that is what you want - but at least that means that I truly did care for you which should actually make you feel a lot worse because I'm sure you are walking around not even thinking twice about what you did.
If you believe in karma so much - it will be interesting to see what comes back around to you.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
This Fun Thing That Still Doesn't Have a Name
My sister and I have been known to get crafty. And when I say crafty - I mean the genius kind. Not the kind of crafty your momma put on her refrigerator when you were 8.
We are going to make jewelry, headbands, hair bows and bows for babies and anything else that we feel like!! This was discussed last night and the plan is being put into motion!
I am super excited about it and I am pretty sure that she is too. Soooo - on that note - we are trying very desperately to think of an amazing name. Something really fun and catchy.
And yes, it is perfectly normal to be jealous of our endeavors. :)
I am SO EXCITED!!! I have wanted to do this for the longest and didn't have anyone I could depend on but who better to depend on than your own sister!!?? So we're doing it!!! :)
We are going to make jewelry, headbands, hair bows and bows for babies and anything else that we feel like!! This was discussed last night and the plan is being put into motion!
I am super excited about it and I am pretty sure that she is too. Soooo - on that note - we are trying very desperately to think of an amazing name. Something really fun and catchy.
And yes, it is perfectly normal to be jealous of our endeavors. :)
I am SO EXCITED!!! I have wanted to do this for the longest and didn't have anyone I could depend on but who better to depend on than your own sister!!?? So we're doing it!!! :)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Never Think
Sometimes things really strike a nerve with me. Whether it be a song, a quote, a movie line or a photograph - and it could be screaming at me the things I'm feeling or thinking. And you want to write about what it did to you...how it made you feel. But you can't because the song or the picture or the quote did it so perfectly. So here is the song's lyrics. Never Think by Rob Pattinson. I think it is important to think about what things are really saying to you. And you can interpret this however you feel you should.
I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't
You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name
And save your soul
Save your soul
Before your too far gone
Before nothing can be done
I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
So hold off
She should hold off
It's the one thing that I've known
Once I put my coat on
I coming out in this all wrong
She standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love
Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done
Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Remorse, Revenge and Resentment
Those 3 words have more in common; in a typical situation, than just the letters that they start with. In a not-so-friendly situation, you would most likely find yourself feeling or wanting at least one of those things - which, in human nature, is totally healthy.
I have caught myself thinking of these 3 words alot lately. 3 words. 1 situation. Of course - this situation I know hardly anything about but apparently it involved me quite a bit. I went through my 3 R's.
Remorse. Was there anything in this specific situation that was dealt to me that I would have remorse for? Absolutely not. I know who I am in a friendship and I know what I am looking for from a friendship. I know what a good friend is and I know how to be loyal. I did everything out of genuine love for this person and obviously - they took nothing from it. So no - I don't have an ounce of remorse in my body.
Revenge. Obviously - since I thought I was doing everything right and then all of a sudden, things just went down the tube...I was pretty hurt. It still hurts me. And for the most part - I was confused and hurt and angry. My instincts went directly to a teenagers train of thought. 'What can I do to make this person feel as miserable as I do right now?' But then I realized that this was just no way to go - as I am a 22 year old adult who is married, has a job and responsibilities far more important than thinking such immature things. So no - revenge really isn't what I was feeling either.
Resentment. Sure - I was angry because I was so hurt. Did I or do I have ill-will for this person. No. Plain and simple. I just don't. This person was an amazing friend while it lasted and if they want to change their prerogative - well - that is their prerogative. So no - I wouldn't say that resentment was really my feeling either.
I was mainly in need of an outlet and closure. Which to this day has not happened. I feel that if everything happened the way that it did - I at least deserved to know why since it did involve me so much. I didn't get any answers.
I don't think that feeling remorse, revenge and resentment is really the answer to anything. I'm just hurt. I gave so much of myself as a friend and I got nothing back it seems. I just feel like everything was all for nothing. After having experienced this - I feel like I am walking away a stronger person in the long run because I know now to guard my heart. No one wants to walk thru life with their heart guarded and their walls up but I have to figure out which one sucks more. Does it suck more to be screwed over without any reason at all or does it hurt more to build your walls?
This entire blog has been weighing heavily on my mind for a while. I think respect of themselves and other people should bring this person to the feet of confession. As I'm out in the rain as far as what happened, what I did or did not do and why I even gave so much of myself to begin with. I just don't understand how, in a life filled with so much hate already, anyone would want to do what they did.
I rest on the fact that humans hurt until the hurting stops and the hurting will stop. It just takes some time.
I have caught myself thinking of these 3 words alot lately. 3 words. 1 situation. Of course - this situation I know hardly anything about but apparently it involved me quite a bit. I went through my 3 R's.
Remorse. Was there anything in this specific situation that was dealt to me that I would have remorse for? Absolutely not. I know who I am in a friendship and I know what I am looking for from a friendship. I know what a good friend is and I know how to be loyal. I did everything out of genuine love for this person and obviously - they took nothing from it. So no - I don't have an ounce of remorse in my body.
Revenge. Obviously - since I thought I was doing everything right and then all of a sudden, things just went down the tube...I was pretty hurt. It still hurts me. And for the most part - I was confused and hurt and angry. My instincts went directly to a teenagers train of thought. 'What can I do to make this person feel as miserable as I do right now?' But then I realized that this was just no way to go - as I am a 22 year old adult who is married, has a job and responsibilities far more important than thinking such immature things. So no - revenge really isn't what I was feeling either.
Resentment. Sure - I was angry because I was so hurt. Did I or do I have ill-will for this person. No. Plain and simple. I just don't. This person was an amazing friend while it lasted and if they want to change their prerogative - well - that is their prerogative. So no - I wouldn't say that resentment was really my feeling either.
I was mainly in need of an outlet and closure. Which to this day has not happened. I feel that if everything happened the way that it did - I at least deserved to know why since it did involve me so much. I didn't get any answers.
I don't think that feeling remorse, revenge and resentment is really the answer to anything. I'm just hurt. I gave so much of myself as a friend and I got nothing back it seems. I just feel like everything was all for nothing. After having experienced this - I feel like I am walking away a stronger person in the long run because I know now to guard my heart. No one wants to walk thru life with their heart guarded and their walls up but I have to figure out which one sucks more. Does it suck more to be screwed over without any reason at all or does it hurt more to build your walls?
This entire blog has been weighing heavily on my mind for a while. I think respect of themselves and other people should bring this person to the feet of confession. As I'm out in the rain as far as what happened, what I did or did not do and why I even gave so much of myself to begin with. I just don't understand how, in a life filled with so much hate already, anyone would want to do what they did.
I rest on the fact that humans hurt until the hurting stops and the hurting will stop. It just takes some time.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It's Nice To Meet You
So technically - this is my second blog on this account. I deleted the other one because it just isn't relevant and it was old - from almost a year ago and so much has happened that I just want to start fresh.
I have a blog to find out who I am. Which I generally do believe is possible. I know my name, my address, my likes, dislikes, things I love and things I hate...but the inner Chelsie is something that has yet to be discovered and determined. I want to find out what seriously keeps this mind of mine together. I want to find out what issues really grab at me - and if the issue is there - it will be on here. Somehow.
As you may already know - I have an awesome husband, an awesome family, I love God, my 2 dogs and my PT Cruiser. =)
I like to consider myself almost like an open book. If I am not saying what I am thinking - you could pretty much read it all over my face at that point. When I don't agree with something or someone - I like to say how I feel - that could be considered a strength or a weakness - I will let you interpret it the way you feel it should be interpretted.
There are a lot of times where I don't take rejection well. Especially without a reason. Every single action you take in life will always have a reason and if you do something but cannot explain yourself - you are either one unsure person, or you are a coward.
I don't believe in friends. I believe in family. I have best friends that I consider family alongside my actual family and the rest is history. I have opened myself up to people who I thought were truly my friends and they never committed themselves to being a true friend. So I changed my policy and procedure on the whole deal. I am done giving all of my true friend self to someone who just won't appreciate that. It is their loss in the long run.
I am a firm believer that to get respect, you have to give it as well. And the sooner that people realize that - the better off this world of ours will be.
I think that any music on this entire earth could heal a broken soul - save your money and quit therapy. Just listen to great artists like Jason Mraz, Maria Mena, Hope and Chiodos. Those guys have gotten me thru some of my darkest hours - I guess you could say. Jason Mraz will hit the sensitive part of your hard time while Maria Mena and Hope tell you like it is and Chiodos relieves the anger and screaming you only wish you could express. I'm serious - try it.
Now on to the funnest part of myself - pictures of the ones that keep me whole...
This is my husband, Brandon and I. He truly is my rock. He has always accepted me as I came and never questioned it and that is truly one of the most loving things that could ever come from someone. Everyone has their flaws - mine are almost in surplus most days - and he never questioned me or us for a second.
This magnificent woman is my mother. She and I work together in an office by ourselves and let's just say that things can get a littleee interesting. No really. She is amazing. She is there for me 100%. She is the most amazing mother in the world.
We truly just have the most fun with eachother.
This crazy baby is Skittles. She is turning 9 this year and she is just the sweetest little baby ever. As you can tell by the photo - she is practically a human minus all of the canine characteristics.
This picture actually speaks for itself with Lola. She is sassy and mean most days but every once in a while - she will cuddle with me and Skittles on the couch. Otherwise - she is trying to bite your hand off. She has a one of a kind personality and she is crazy. But I love love love her.
This is my wedding headband and yessss - my sister and I made this! Like I said, I LOVE making headbands and being crafty! Isn't it sassy and fabulous!?
Speaking of sister - this crazy lady is Brandi. She is my most favorite sister. (She is my only sister =)) She and I have tons of fun. It is crazy how when you were younger you would just fight and fight with your siblings but then they end up being like your best friend.
AND LASTLYYYYY -
I am like a make up wizard!! I LOVE doing make up. And obviously - I rock at it. just kidding. But seriously - I LOVE make up. If my house was on fire (knock on wood) and I could only grab like - 3 things (2 of those things being my dogs) the 3rd thing I would grab would be my make up bag. It is like a part of me. =)
I think I have shown you enough pictures for now so that you can get a chance to know who I am and who I roll with. I don't want a blog that is dark and creepy and you don't really know who you're reading about. This is me - in a blogshell. =) But don't worry - as I've guessed you thoroughly enjoyed your visit - there IS more to come. =)
I have a blog to find out who I am. Which I generally do believe is possible. I know my name, my address, my likes, dislikes, things I love and things I hate...but the inner Chelsie is something that has yet to be discovered and determined. I want to find out what seriously keeps this mind of mine together. I want to find out what issues really grab at me - and if the issue is there - it will be on here. Somehow.
As you may already know - I have an awesome husband, an awesome family, I love God, my 2 dogs and my PT Cruiser. =)
I like to consider myself almost like an open book. If I am not saying what I am thinking - you could pretty much read it all over my face at that point. When I don't agree with something or someone - I like to say how I feel - that could be considered a strength or a weakness - I will let you interpret it the way you feel it should be interpretted.
There are a lot of times where I don't take rejection well. Especially without a reason. Every single action you take in life will always have a reason and if you do something but cannot explain yourself - you are either one unsure person, or you are a coward.
I don't believe in friends. I believe in family. I have best friends that I consider family alongside my actual family and the rest is history. I have opened myself up to people who I thought were truly my friends and they never committed themselves to being a true friend. So I changed my policy and procedure on the whole deal. I am done giving all of my true friend self to someone who just won't appreciate that. It is their loss in the long run.
I am a firm believer that to get respect, you have to give it as well. And the sooner that people realize that - the better off this world of ours will be.
I think that any music on this entire earth could heal a broken soul - save your money and quit therapy. Just listen to great artists like Jason Mraz, Maria Mena, Hope and Chiodos. Those guys have gotten me thru some of my darkest hours - I guess you could say. Jason Mraz will hit the sensitive part of your hard time while Maria Mena and Hope tell you like it is and Chiodos relieves the anger and screaming you only wish you could express. I'm serious - try it.
Now on to the funnest part of myself - pictures of the ones that keep me whole...
This is my husband, Brandon and I. He truly is my rock. He has always accepted me as I came and never questioned it and that is truly one of the most loving things that could ever come from someone. Everyone has their flaws - mine are almost in surplus most days - and he never questioned me or us for a second.
This magnificent woman is my mother. She and I work together in an office by ourselves and let's just say that things can get a littleee interesting. No really. She is amazing. She is there for me 100%. She is the most amazing mother in the world.
We truly just have the most fun with eachother.
This crazy baby is Skittles. She is turning 9 this year and she is just the sweetest little baby ever. As you can tell by the photo - she is practically a human minus all of the canine characteristics.
This picture actually speaks for itself with Lola. She is sassy and mean most days but every once in a while - she will cuddle with me and Skittles on the couch. Otherwise - she is trying to bite your hand off. She has a one of a kind personality and she is crazy. But I love love love her.
This is my wedding headband and yessss - my sister and I made this! Like I said, I LOVE making headbands and being crafty! Isn't it sassy and fabulous!?
Speaking of sister - this crazy lady is Brandi. She is my most favorite sister. (She is my only sister =)) She and I have tons of fun. It is crazy how when you were younger you would just fight and fight with your siblings but then they end up being like your best friend.
AND LASTLYYYYY -
I am like a make up wizard!! I LOVE doing make up. And obviously - I rock at it. just kidding. But seriously - I LOVE make up. If my house was on fire (knock on wood) and I could only grab like - 3 things (2 of those things being my dogs) the 3rd thing I would grab would be my make up bag. It is like a part of me. =)
I think I have shown you enough pictures for now so that you can get a chance to know who I am and who I roll with. I don't want a blog that is dark and creepy and you don't really know who you're reading about. This is me - in a blogshell. =) But don't worry - as I've guessed you thoroughly enjoyed your visit - there IS more to come. =)
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